More academic dreams (literally)...

I rarely remember my dreams from the night before unless they are particularly traumatic, odd, or wonderful.



I believe last night's dreams acheived all 3 of these standards and so I must share.



Okay, preface: I have a "dream version" of SCU in my head. That is, whenever I dream about my university, I dream about the same place that doesn't actually exist every time. It has the same elevators, the same offices, the same layout, the same stairs, etc. but looks actually nothing like the real SCU. I don't know why my mind creates a familiar dream landscape for me, but it does (I also have dream versions of my parents' house, Walmart, and "my house").



In dream-SCU, the faculty offices are in a building not unlike the faculty office building on my campus. But the building inside has an atrium instead of elevators in the middle. Kind of like this...

But without the French Quarter theme.




My dream-SCU faculty building has corresponding offices for each of the professors I have dreamt about. Dr. Heartthrob's office is in the right corner across the way from the elevators. Dr. A's is 2 doors to the right of the elevators. Dr. Redhair is in the office next door to Dr. Heartthrob's, to the left. Et cetera. And there is a pool on the roof.



The pool is a new addition, brought to my attention only last night. It is heated and indoor and fairly private and I'd advise you to not go swimming in it as [at least one of] the faculty members apparently do naughty things there with undergrads [and possibly each other]... I'll let you know if it is still open next time I visit dream-SCU.


But my dreams did not end there, my friends. They did take a different turn though. We will now leave dream-SCU and travel to dream-gritty nightclub. This one still had an academic theme though, as my favorite professor had put me on the guestlist to come watch him play with his hair-metal cover band.


Ah, yes. There was my mentor, wearing a dusty blue bandana tied around his head, shredding tasty licks on the guitar, accompanied by a band of imagined 40-somethings who worship DLR as god-of-all-that-is-holy. After the set, I sat around backstage with this motley crew (pun intended) and we took shots of something opaque and notwhisky out of salt shakers (FYI: notwhisky = my word for everything people that aren't me take shots of). Dear mentor did instruct me to "take the top off" as I skeptically eyed the concoction in the less-than-conventional vessel.


What would Freud say? I don't even want to know.

Compromises & Separations

Ah... I will be surprised if I still have any readers left after my long hiatus. I just haven't been particularly inspired to "blog it out" these past couple of months. I have been quite busy and once I do get some down time, trying to write something clever and smart for my adoring fans (er... fan) just doesn't sound appealing.

I am going to give a brief synopsis of events that have transpired since I last left you, in bullets so I don't ramble (as we know I can tend to do when given the opportunity to talk about myself).

• Birthday: beers, Katamari Damacy, more beers, low-key, now closer to 30 than 20 (I have even seen a decline in my getting carded for booze and cigs... And my best friend gave me eye cream for my b-day...)
• Holidays: *shudder* Moving on...
• School: finished one semester, started another last week. This is going to be the best semester ever. I can feel it. All is going so well. Both of my presentations (one paper, one poster) were accepted to regional Psych conference. This news deserves an entry of its own when I haven't had a couple beers. I'll just go on and on about it and what a wonderful mentor Dr. A is and what an honor it is to work with him and how brilliant I think we are and what a badass I think I am and blah blah blah. ;)
• Found community of stepmums who blog, tweet, and otherwise express all of the feelings and thoughts that I had thought I was alone in thinking and feeling. What an enlightening experience it was to discover this and then become a part of that support system for such a confusing and unique experience that only we stepmoms truly understand.
• I cried after the Cowboys lost to the Vikings last week. I am not over it yet, and won't be until spring training starts back up. Even then, I think this one may have hurt the worst yet (Fucking fire Wade already, jebus crust).

Live long and wear a rubber,
Me

The Daily Show 01/14/10

I was on The Daily Show tonight! And they didn't make me look like an idiot! And Jason Jones waved my dildo around while I made out with a chick! Haha.
Just so you know, I would ONLY make out with another girl [on film] for 1.) Jon Stewart and 2.) equality.

Who says academia can't be sexy?

Today, someone asked me, "What's up with the Hustler shirt?" that I was wearing. A witty comeback like, "Oh, it came with my subscription," would have been awesome but the question caught sleep-deprived me by surprise and, of course, a clever retort didn't pop into my head until way later. Instead of a nice sarcastic, "Oh, yeah. They give me these whenever I finish a photo shoot," I just blushed. The literal answer would be that Larry Flynt is a feminist and Hustler, preferably the Canadian version, is the only "mainstream" porn I can buy w/out feeling like a bad feminist or driving all the way to the xxx store. Oh yeah, and the shirt was $2 at the thrift store. Ha.

It has been a long and busy start to the semester. All my classes are going well. Cognitive Psych is maybe my favorite class that I have taken thus far. I have multiple nerd-gasms during each lecture. It's so fascinating. The time flies by. My lab partner (cute outdoorsy chick that I was in 3 classes with last semester) and I both groan in disappointment when each class ends. It really is that interesting. Plus, I don't know what people are talking about when they say Dr. RH is a bitch. Sure, she expects her students to attend class, pay attention during lecture, read the textbook, and at least make an effort to do well but I have had nothing but good experiences with her thus far.

Speaking of, after learning about my career goals/interests in working with veterans with PTSD Dr. RH let me know that she had done some research in grad school with vets who had PTSD so I met with her on Monday to ask her about her experiences in more detail. We had a really good conversation. Turns out her dad, husband, and son were/are in the military (her son just got back from Iraq) and so we talked about our personal experiences with our family members who have served. She's a first-generation college student like me, is homeschooling her daughter (and homeschooled her son) like I plan on doing (or rather my house-husband aspiring husband will mostly do), and we are very similar in our passion for psychology and intrinsic motivation for learning. She had some really great advice on grad school, becoming a professor, working with military service men/women in research, etc. I have to admit, it feels really great to get along so well with someone that everyone else greatly admires (and fears).

The research project that I'm working on with Dr. A is going through it's 3rd (and hopefully final) IRB evaluation. The IRB (institutional review board) at SCU is ridiculously strict. I'm not going to bore you with the details of what they have asked us to change before resubmitting our study for approval, but lets just say they are acting like our survey asks participants graphically detailed questions about past sexual abuse (it doesn't...nothing even close).

Other than that, it's going great. Preliminary research is done. Lit review outline is done. Survey is up on the survey host website and ready to go once we get approval to start recruiting participants. Dr. A and I work together well (so far and from my perspective anyway). ;) I set tomorrow aside to start writing the lit review. I can't wait to start analyzing data. Goddamn litigious society.

I saw super-ridiculously hot grad student who taught the Abnormal Psych class I took last semester. She stopped by to say hi while I was in Dr. A's office for a project meeting today. We hugged (she touched me...*sigh*). Haha. She's so sweet. We got along really well last semester and kept in touch over the summer. I gave her a bunch of info on some stuff we're both interested in and links to great teaching resources last semester and she talks to/treats me like an equal. We're supposed to get together for coffee soon. We have freakishly similar personality traits, demeanor and interests. The way she utilized her personality in the classroom is what made me realize I could teach. Oh yeah, and she's so hot. And not just "hot for a professor (or I guess in her case, grad teaching assistant)" but "stranger who stops you in your tracks as she walks by" hot. But I digress...

My Cowboys won against the Buccaneers Sunday, which made me a very happy J. I went over to Jed's* to watch the game on his mega-screen. DH came over a little later with the kids to hang out with Leslie*. Jed & Leslie are our (DH & me) "couple best friends," if that makes sense. Anyway, someone was asking me why my hubbie didn't watch the game with me. I told him that DH doesn't like to watch football. This Cretan said, "What?? Well, he must not be a real man if he doesn't watch football!" I looked Mr. Gender-Role Compliance in the face and replied, "I didn't know watching football is what makes you a man. Maybe I should let my vagina know about this." He looked pretty horrified. I don't know if it was because everyone else laughed or because I said "vagina" instead of something else to describe my female-ness (ha!).

Anyway, until the next time I can't sleep but am too tired to do anything other than ramble on and on...

It takes courage to enjoy it. The hardcore and the gentle, big time sensuality.
-Bjork

-Me

*Names have been changed to protect anonymity.

Blogger Sobriety Test

So, I do this thing when I'm not sober and around a computer. It's called "copy & paste lyrics from songs" and I'm pretty sure that, at the time, I'm trying to be deep and meaningful.

I usually delete these inane blogs the next day but I'm not going to anymore. For one, they still show up in Google Reader. Plus, they're pretty funny, in a ridiculously silly sort of way.

Like, for example, this morning's (or "last night's") lyrics come from a song that I can't get out of my head. "Strange & Beautiful" by Aqualung. It is a pretty deep song and it does hold some meaning for me...

It is the song that I record over and over and over onto multiple cassette tapes, which I then send to Keith Olbermann 3x a week. I thought maybe he'd be inspired by this gesture to lift the restraining order against me but instead he changed the "Can't come within 500 ft." rule to a more restrictive 100 ft.

I mean, what does he really think a silly, obsessed female fan is capable of? Driving across the country in diapers to kidnap his blonde, 25 yr old girlfriend? Sneaking into his apartment to steal his brain to keep in a jar so we can communicate telepathically? I mean, really, Keith. Geez...

Speaking of brains in jars, I figured out what my M.O. would be if I were a serial killer (don't you love the twisted things people who study psychology think upon?).

If I were a serial killer:

• I'd murder college professors, extract their brains and then keep their brains in jars of formaldehyde in my basement so I could feed off of their knowledge
• I would stick wax lips on the jars although they wouldn't need lips because we would only communicate telepathically
• I would be schizophrenic, although the diagnosis wouldn't come until my capture since the schizophrenia only just now developed in my mid-twenties
• "The Man with Two Brains" with Steve Martin was my favorite movie as a child

So, that thought came to me the other day and I thought I'd share. If someone steals this idea for a movie or an episode of Law & Order: CI, I will sue that person for millions, so don't even think about it.

Academic Dreams About Holding a "Stimulating" Conversation

Last night I dreamt about someone whom I admire greatly. But instead of a normal sex dream, I dreamt about talking to this person for hours. Literally, all night long, I dreamt about talking to someone that I find attractive.

I think my brain needs to get laid. Has it really been that long since I've had intellectual intercourse?

Rectal Exams and Ringtones

(Originally posted on 3/11/09 at 8:13 PM)

hey there

last week I had 2 of the most embarrassing moments of my life in the same day. Thought I'd share...

1st, I was bleeding...from the booty...so I went to the ER per DH's insisting. I was also in a lot of pain so probably good thing I went. Well, the doc I got was this huge Italian mafia-looking doctor with giant fingers. He had me "assume the position" and stuck one of those giant fingers entirely into my rectum...while the hottest nurse I've ever seen stood by and watched (DH tried to reassure me that "maybe she liked it" ha). anyway i was fine (nothing major, just stress-induced colon blockage ha).

2nd, While taking my PhysioPsych exam, my phone went off. I couldn't find it so the entire ringtone played. Twice. Not that big of a deal, right? happens all the time...

Well, my ringtone goes something like this (by Of Montreal):

Want you to be my pleasure puss

I wanna know what it's like to be inside you...

Thankfully Dr. A just laughed and pretended not to look up from his book but the entire class laughed. I now have flashbacks when my phone rings.

That's all. I'll post a pic of my blockage xray later.

- Me

Ps at least I got a 96 on the test!