The end of an era...or year-long project...

Long time, blogger. Typically, I would do the catch-up-on-life post but no one reads this one (literally) and writing a recant of the past couple of months would keep me procrastinating for months to come. Besides, this is my 'secret' public blog, remember?

It's sitting in my inbox right now. The ever-so-daunting manuscript that has been haunting my desktop from a folder marked "Dr.-A's-Last-Name Research" for months. Dr. A and I worked on finishing it over the break and now his final edits are sitting in my Outlook inbox waiting for me to review and approve before sending it off to the publisher.

And I don't want to open it.

This project has been the source of almost a year's worth of my focus, procrastination, passion, frustration, excitement, and insomnia. I know I will be depressed when it is all said and done. It happens after every major accomplishment, even though I expect it. The slump, the deer in the headlights feeling, like I've forgotten something vital or can't remember if I put my name on a 16 page term paper... It always follows the initial celebration.

I think I might be addicted to stress.
Bah.

Plus, I will miss the extra time spent with my mentor and colleague though I'm sure he will be glad to finally get a break from my crass humor, drunk emails (not inappropriate, mind you. More like "dude, you should see zombieland. It rocks!"), and pretending I'm smart. Ah well, such is my first academic collaboration experience. I'm sure future colleagues will come and go and eventually I'll forget who I wrote "such and such" with or investigated "whatchamacallit" alongside.

But I'll never forget my first. ;)

At least I still have the conference to look forward to. I've got plenty of adrenaline left for the panic I will feel as I realize I'm the only undergrad in the room, let alone presenting a research paper. Thank gods for social facilitation and over-confidence in my abilities (all of them).

Oh, attachment, open you I must.

And so it goes...

More academic dreams (literally)...

I rarely remember my dreams from the night before unless they are particularly traumatic, odd, or wonderful.



I believe last night's dreams acheived all 3 of these standards and so I must share.



Okay, preface: I have a "dream version" of SCU in my head. That is, whenever I dream about my university, I dream about the same place that doesn't actually exist every time. It has the same elevators, the same offices, the same layout, the same stairs, etc. but looks actually nothing like the real SCU. I don't know why my mind creates a familiar dream landscape for me, but it does (I also have dream versions of my parents' house, Walmart, and "my house").



In dream-SCU, the faculty offices are in a building not unlike the faculty office building on my campus. But the building inside has an atrium instead of elevators in the middle. Kind of like this...

But without the French Quarter theme.




My dream-SCU faculty building has corresponding offices for each of the professors I have dreamt about. Dr. Heartthrob's office is in the right corner across the way from the elevators. Dr. A's is 2 doors to the right of the elevators. Dr. Redhair is in the office next door to Dr. Heartthrob's, to the left. Et cetera. And there is a pool on the roof.



The pool is a new addition, brought to my attention only last night. It is heated and indoor and fairly private and I'd advise you to not go swimming in it as [at least one of] the faculty members apparently do naughty things there with undergrads [and possibly each other]... I'll let you know if it is still open next time I visit dream-SCU.


But my dreams did not end there, my friends. They did take a different turn though. We will now leave dream-SCU and travel to dream-gritty nightclub. This one still had an academic theme though, as my favorite professor had put me on the guestlist to come watch him play with his hair-metal cover band.


Ah, yes. There was my mentor, wearing a dusty blue bandana tied around his head, shredding tasty licks on the guitar, accompanied by a band of imagined 40-somethings who worship DLR as god-of-all-that-is-holy. After the set, I sat around backstage with this motley crew (pun intended) and we took shots of something opaque and notwhisky out of salt shakers (FYI: notwhisky = my word for everything people that aren't me take shots of). Dear mentor did instruct me to "take the top off" as I skeptically eyed the concoction in the less-than-conventional vessel.


What would Freud say? I don't even want to know.

Compromises & Separations

Ah... I will be surprised if I still have any readers left after my long hiatus. I just haven't been particularly inspired to "blog it out" these past couple of months. I have been quite busy and once I do get some down time, trying to write something clever and smart for my adoring fans (er... fan) just doesn't sound appealing.

I am going to give a brief synopsis of events that have transpired since I last left you, in bullets so I don't ramble (as we know I can tend to do when given the opportunity to talk about myself).

• Birthday: beers, Katamari Damacy, more beers, low-key, now closer to 30 than 20 (I have even seen a decline in my getting carded for booze and cigs... And my best friend gave me eye cream for my b-day...)
• Holidays: *shudder* Moving on...
• School: finished one semester, started another last week. This is going to be the best semester ever. I can feel it. All is going so well. Both of my presentations (one paper, one poster) were accepted to regional Psych conference. This news deserves an entry of its own when I haven't had a couple beers. I'll just go on and on about it and what a wonderful mentor Dr. A is and what an honor it is to work with him and how brilliant I think we are and what a badass I think I am and blah blah blah. ;)
• Found community of stepmums who blog, tweet, and otherwise express all of the feelings and thoughts that I had thought I was alone in thinking and feeling. What an enlightening experience it was to discover this and then become a part of that support system for such a confusing and unique experience that only we stepmoms truly understand.
• I cried after the Cowboys lost to the Vikings last week. I am not over it yet, and won't be until spring training starts back up. Even then, I think this one may have hurt the worst yet (Fucking fire Wade already, jebus crust).

Live long and wear a rubber,
Me

I've got blisters on my fingers!!

*Secret prize to the one who can tell me where my title quote comes from!*

Oh my jesus. What a gruelling couple of weeks. Two poster presentations (one of which was a report of my original research...so proud! Significant at p < .001 in support of my hypotheses, bitches!! Rock n Roll.) I (and my research assistants...*ahem*...colleagues) submitted the abstract from our research poster to Regional Psych Conference so that might be cool. I'll already be there to co-present the study Dr. A and I finished this semester so why not? The study I designed was novel in the method I used to measure this particular phenomenon, and with such significant results (even controlling for extraneous variables), two of my professors are encouraging me to write up a manuscript and submit it for publishing. There went my winter break!! Ha! Can't hurt my chances of being accepted to #1 Grad School Choice.

I also gave an oral presentation last week. That was traumatizing and I don't want to talk about it. Although I will tell you that Prof Red Hair did not give my group feedback on/approval of our powerpoint until the NIGHT before the presentation, although I submitted them before Thanksgiving...3 times...emailed her the week before the presentation to make sure she got the files... She claimed she never received the files - although I sent them from 2 different email accounts, over Blackboard, and at 3 different times... So, I forwarded her the email "sent" receipts along with the powerpoint Saturday 12/5 (Presentation was scheduled for either 12/8 or 12/10...her choice and a "surpise" found out by each group at the beginning of class 12/8). I didn't hear back from her after her "I got the files, have this back to you asap" email Saturday night so I emailed her AGAIN to "gently remind her" on Monday morning (day before possible presenting) and she claims she sent the files back (w/comments) on Saturday (I didn't get anything...in either email account...in either junk folder) and resent them to me. So, my group, who were waiting to practice the presentation until we got her approval of our slides (which she had us change the actual organization/structure of the presentation itself DRASTICALLY, although all content was fine so practicing prior to those changes would have been pointless anyway). We got to practice 2 1/2 times before class the next day (between morning class and Dr Red Hair's class). With an entirely new format (order) of the slides. We thought maybe she'd assign us to present on Thursday since we were the only group who hadn't heard back from her by the weekend of Thanksgiving... Nope. She had us go that day. Less than 18 hours after she let us know about the drastic changes we needed to make to our presentation... I was prepared as in I knew that material inside and out but I only got to practice it outloud twice, during which I ended up cutting out most of my "in depth" slides for time (and they were so awesome!) so I actually never got to practice the final product before presenting.
Dr. Red Hair is now Dr. Fucking Cunt. The presentation went fine as far as staying on time and getting our points across but my usual enthusiastic, confident speaker-self was too nervous and angry to be anything other than monotone, trying not to talk too fast, could be a freshman speaker.

We got an A but lots of "constructive comments" about our obvious nervousness, monotone speech pattern, lack of enthusiasm, checking our notes a lot (although not reading straight off of them), and lots of hesitations. Yeah, I wonder why...
Oh well, I didn't complain and I didn't make any excuses because it wasn't worth it. And I could tell that she knew she fucked that one up.

Thursday, after my two posters, I was interviewed with my hubby by one of The Daily Show correspondents for a segment airing after the 1st of the year. Can't give specifics but they did send a crew out to my house, who turned my living room into a TV studio, complete with make-up artist. It was so much fun. If you catch it and you know who I am, please know that I would only ever do such things for Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, and to rub my immoral progressive-ness in the faces of all those conservative bastards denying basic human rights to those they've deemed undeserving based on archaic fairy tales written by patriarchal, homophobic assholes.

Anyway, the semester is almost over. After last week, I have been struggling to give a flying fuck about finals but finals are a breeze at this point (I actually studied during the semester and went to almost all of my classes this semester!). I aced my first final in the Cog Psych class. I also got a 90 on my History of Modern Science final although I haven't submitted it yet (online exam - all essay). I think the professor made a "best guess" as to what students would make so he could take off (he travels a lot) and forgo the whole grading essay question test answers thing. Ha.

Anyway, this was a gruelling semester (15 hours, 3 research studies - 2 of which I designed, all upper level classes - mostly 4000 level) and I am ready for a (few) beer(s) as soon as I get out of my last final on Thursday afternoon. Drinks around 4pm Thursday at local bar in SCU town! Who's down?? ;)

-Me

Lit Reviews, Statistical Support, and Rabbit Holes...Oh My!

This lit review for Dr. A's study is making me want to bang my head against hard objects...repeatedly. I have it all soooooo organized, with the citations placed within their spot on the outline, and the articles all stacked/saved in the order they will be cited within the article. Yet, once I sit down to write, it is all for naught. *sigh* The rule is: Must sit down to write for AT LEAST 30 minutes per day until it is finished. (I'm not going to tell you what my reward system is but trust me, it will get me moving.)

In my Experimental Psych class, Dr. Heart Throb, and the rest of the class, chose my experimental design for a class project. It was a study on the sexual double standard. I'm not going to go into technical details, as they would bore you, but my idea rocked. And my hypothesis, supported. There's nothing like designing your first experment, gathering and analyzing data, and getting statistically significant results in support of your hypothesis...if you are a super-nerdy budding scientist like me, that is.
Speaking of, I think Dr. HT is growing on me. Funny how I didn't get why everyone thought he was hot until he mentioned his subscription to my favorite magazine (Scientific American) and ran some extra, unnecessary post-hocs on my data (just for fun) at my request (despite the resounding groans of everyone else in that class). There's something wrong with me. Ha.

Anyway, all A's thus far in my classes. I'm not looking forward to the 3 poster presentations all within 2 days of each other, but I'm not worried about them either. Metric is coming in December, Peaches/Butthole Surfers at the end of this month...at least a couple things to look forward to. No Cowboys game this weekend, but oh well.

Oh yeah, and you can SUCK IT, Medco. I hope you (the company as a whole) die when the healthcare bill gets passed, you fucking assholes.

*deep breath*

Sorry 'bout that, you guys. Have a good week(end).

-Me

Who says academia can't be sexy?

Today, someone asked me, "What's up with the Hustler shirt?" that I was wearing. A witty comeback like, "Oh, it came with my subscription," would have been awesome but the question caught sleep-deprived me by surprise and, of course, a clever retort didn't pop into my head until way later. Instead of a nice sarcastic, "Oh, yeah. They give me these whenever I finish a photo shoot," I just blushed. The literal answer would be that Larry Flynt is a feminist and Hustler, preferably the Canadian version, is the only "mainstream" porn I can buy w/out feeling like a bad feminist or driving all the way to the xxx store. Oh yeah, and the shirt was $2 at the thrift store. Ha.

It has been a long and busy start to the semester. All my classes are going well. Cognitive Psych is maybe my favorite class that I have taken thus far. I have multiple nerd-gasms during each lecture. It's so fascinating. The time flies by. My lab partner (cute outdoorsy chick that I was in 3 classes with last semester) and I both groan in disappointment when each class ends. It really is that interesting. Plus, I don't know what people are talking about when they say Dr. RH is a bitch. Sure, she expects her students to attend class, pay attention during lecture, read the textbook, and at least make an effort to do well but I have had nothing but good experiences with her thus far.

Speaking of, after learning about my career goals/interests in working with veterans with PTSD Dr. RH let me know that she had done some research in grad school with vets who had PTSD so I met with her on Monday to ask her about her experiences in more detail. We had a really good conversation. Turns out her dad, husband, and son were/are in the military (her son just got back from Iraq) and so we talked about our personal experiences with our family members who have served. She's a first-generation college student like me, is homeschooling her daughter (and homeschooled her son) like I plan on doing (or rather my house-husband aspiring husband will mostly do), and we are very similar in our passion for psychology and intrinsic motivation for learning. She had some really great advice on grad school, becoming a professor, working with military service men/women in research, etc. I have to admit, it feels really great to get along so well with someone that everyone else greatly admires (and fears).

The research project that I'm working on with Dr. A is going through it's 3rd (and hopefully final) IRB evaluation. The IRB (institutional review board) at SCU is ridiculously strict. I'm not going to bore you with the details of what they have asked us to change before resubmitting our study for approval, but lets just say they are acting like our survey asks participants graphically detailed questions about past sexual abuse (it doesn't...nothing even close).

Other than that, it's going great. Preliminary research is done. Lit review outline is done. Survey is up on the survey host website and ready to go once we get approval to start recruiting participants. Dr. A and I work together well (so far and from my perspective anyway). ;) I set tomorrow aside to start writing the lit review. I can't wait to start analyzing data. Goddamn litigious society.

I saw super-ridiculously hot grad student who taught the Abnormal Psych class I took last semester. She stopped by to say hi while I was in Dr. A's office for a project meeting today. We hugged (she touched me...*sigh*). Haha. She's so sweet. We got along really well last semester and kept in touch over the summer. I gave her a bunch of info on some stuff we're both interested in and links to great teaching resources last semester and she talks to/treats me like an equal. We're supposed to get together for coffee soon. We have freakishly similar personality traits, demeanor and interests. The way she utilized her personality in the classroom is what made me realize I could teach. Oh yeah, and she's so hot. And not just "hot for a professor (or I guess in her case, grad teaching assistant)" but "stranger who stops you in your tracks as she walks by" hot. But I digress...

My Cowboys won against the Buccaneers Sunday, which made me a very happy J. I went over to Jed's* to watch the game on his mega-screen. DH came over a little later with the kids to hang out with Leslie*. Jed & Leslie are our (DH & me) "couple best friends," if that makes sense. Anyway, someone was asking me why my hubbie didn't watch the game with me. I told him that DH doesn't like to watch football. This Cretan said, "What?? Well, he must not be a real man if he doesn't watch football!" I looked Mr. Gender-Role Compliance in the face and replied, "I didn't know watching football is what makes you a man. Maybe I should let my vagina know about this." He looked pretty horrified. I don't know if it was because everyone else laughed or because I said "vagina" instead of something else to describe my female-ness (ha!).

Anyway, until the next time I can't sleep but am too tired to do anything other than ramble on and on...

It takes courage to enjoy it. The hardcore and the gentle, big time sensuality.
-Bjork

-Me

*Names have been changed to protect anonymity.

Going 70mph in a 20mph School Zone

God, this weekend went by way too fast. This semester is going to go by really fast, I can tell that much already. I always do best under pressure, though, so I'm not stressed. I'm going to bitch about it anyway. Funny how I bitch about not being busy enough and then bitch about being too busy. I doubt a happy medium exists for me.

I loooooove CogPsych. Fascinating, fascinating shit. Last semster I took PhysioPsych, which focused on the physiological mechanisms behind mental processes. CogPsych builds on my knowledge of the anatomy/function of the brain with detail about the mental processes themselves. I will be getting my Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology but Cognitive, Experimental, and Neuro Psychology are all so fascinating. I wish I could just stay in school and get 5 doctorates...

We did have to do some silly exercises in CogLab today though. We had to run through some traffic cone mazes that Dr. RH set up outside. We were supposed to be role playing the "Tolman rats." Then, once back inside, we had to role play action potentials along axons. I got to be the terminal button. I decided to release dopamine.

Oh my god. I am such a fucking nerd.

My labor day weekend was filled with a friend's daughter's first birthday party (babies discovering cake = cute moments hall of fame), reading approximately 25 empirical studies/lit reviews, and doing online CogLab activities. Unfortunately, no beer was consumed. I will make up for this during the first regular season game on Sunday (Go Cowboys!!).

Oh! Oh! A new Michael Moore movie is coming out on October 2nd. I just saw the commercial during one of my Law & Order indulgences (I <3 Goldblum). Anyway, there have been so many movies that have come out recently that I've sworn I'd go see but didn't (e.g. Funny People, District 9, Extract - mmmmm, Jason Bateman...). But Capitalism: A Love Story must be seen opening night.

Speaking of movies, is it just me of should "Love Happens" be renamed to "Another Shitty Jennifer Aniston Romance Movie Happens"?

New Semester and Blogging Controversy

I know it has been a while, 2 people who read my blog, but I only had 2 weeks of actual summer so my first priority was not sitting at the computer and trying to be witty.

The Fall semester started on Monday. I already love all of my classes.

I'm taking History of Modern Science from a professor who believes in science above all else, like me, and is also really funny. It's not a class in my major, but it will be fun (unlike all of the non-major classes I took for my Ass Degree).

The professor for Experimental Psych is a "heart-throb" according to all of the ladies in my class. So his code-name this semester is "Dr. Heart Throb" or "Dr. HT". He's funny and the class is interesting but I don't think I would describe Dr. HT as a heart throb myself. But what do I know? I'm in love with Keith Olbermann.

The professor for Cognitive Psych looks like she uses the exact same hair dye that I do so I'll call her "Dr. Red Hair" or "Dr. RH". She's a total bad ass. Really knows her shit and doesn't let people get away with being lazy ass snowflakes. This makes sense, as it is a senior level class and required for those on the Grad School track so she has to weed out the losers, yet I keep hearing what a "bitch" she is. When students around campus tell me that Prof. So-and-So is a bitch or "way hard", I immediately sign up for his or her class as it means that Prof. So-and-So will actually challenge me academically. I'm pretty sure the opposite is also true. If I tell someone to avoid a class because the "professor" (usually a grad student) is a dumbass, all the lazy students immediately sign up for the class because it means you really aren't going to have to actively learn anything. But I digress...

I have a Bioethics class this semester too but the first one was canceled and it is a once a week Monday class so I won't know what the professor is like until the 14th.

I have my first meeting with Dr. A tomorrow for the research project I'm assisting him with. I'm so excited! I can't wait to get started. Plus, Dr. A is a badass.

Oh, there was some fairly recent controversy over some stories on my blog being "made up." Frankly, if you can't tell when I'm making something up to be funny versus telling a funny story that actually happened to me, then you don't deserve to know. Those who know me well know when I'm kidding. Plus, this is my blog, on which I post commentary and jokes, updates and fantasies, all of which came from my sick and twisted mind. That should be enough to make it real. Otherwise, why does it matter? If it made you laugh, my job is done.
Al Franken had this same problem, which he addressed in "The Truth (with jokes)":

After my last book, some of younger and/or less bright readers complained that
they couldn't tell when I was joking and when I was merely reporting true things
in a comedic manner.

The only difference between Franken and I is that he went on to inform his readers of when he was joking or not joking. I am not that nice. Plus, I'm not being paid to write this blog, so I don't have to worry about confusing my readers.

So, there!

Eat a Bag o' Dicks

So, recently a nosy classmate asked me how I did on a freshly graded test. When I told her, she asked me, "What? I got a D. How did you get an A?"

I looked around to make sure no one was listening, leaned in and dramatically whispered, "I have a copy of the answers for all of the tests in this class."

Her eyes widened and she whispered back, "Holy shit... Where did you get them? Can I buy them from you?"

I looked at her with the most ernestly faked expression of confusion and asked, "I got them at the bookstore. Don't you have them, too?" as I pointed to the textbook sitting in front of her.

No wonder I never get invited to parties. Ha.

Funny Astrology Indulgence & KO and Rachel Maddow Return...Finally!

So, I get bombarded with horoscope emails daily. Every so often, I'll open one up for a laugh. Here's my "overview" for today.

I think this one is telling me to have a threesome. Sweet!!These are the times that try your soul, because deciding between the interests of your dear ones and the demands of your libido won't be an easy thing to negotiate. Ah, well. If all else fails, including the mediation of an impartial third party, take a good, long time-out.

And I came down with Strep throat today...I'd say this is creepy if it wasn't for the 60 million other Scorpios who are also probably sick and freaking out over this one.Your first impulse will be to ignore it and bravely go on. Don't. Epic sagas aren't written about someone who was cranky from the flu. Go home. Tend to yourself.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. Took my first final this morning. Got an A in the class (Tests & Measurements). Have to get a 77/100 on my Mod Political Thought final tomorrow to make an A in that class so I'm golden. I'm never taking 2 Summer session classes simultaneously AGAIN.

I forgot to mention, Keith O and Rachel Maddow are back from vacation so I can start watching cable news again. For my sake, please never, ever take vacations at the same time, guys. That was torture...There was no one else to revel in Palin stepping down as Governor, no one to countdown Worst Persons, no one to make all the same political jokes that I made 2 days prior... Anyway, I'm glad you're both back!

I'm So Tired, My Mind Is On The Blink

*Sigh* It would be lovely if I could be sleeping right now, but my insomnia doesn't seem to be sensitive to the fact that I have a final in 6 hours. So much for storing the 7 hours of studying I did today in my long term memory. At least the test is all cued recall multiple choice questions...all 150 of them! :-p

Summer I is over on Friday. Summer II starts on Monday, so this weekend is going to be my "krunk" weekend since I won't have any assignments or reading to do. Which really means I'll finish my leisure reading, watch the movies I rented last week, get my car inspection done, catch up on housework, play with Banana Mouse, and drink 8.75 beers.

The boys leave for Central America on Sunday with DH's baby-mama, so it will be pretty quiet around the house for the next month. Maybe I'll be able to work on my painting some. Maybe DH and I will make it to the July vc party for some adult-oriented weekend fun. Who knows. Probably I'll just be studying, volunteering, and wasting copious amounts of time playing Tetris on my phone while listing to Mothership on repeat.

Well, I'm going to try to induce some sleep with my Mother's Day bath salts. G'night.

Been Dazed and Confused for so long it's not true.
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.

Free Show

So, the "new" dress I got at the thrift store this weekend...turns out it is see-thru. I did not notice this until, wearing said dress, I was walking to class this morning. It is moments like these that really test your confidence. Your welcome, students and faculty of SCU.

At least I can hide in the library for the rest of the day...

Summer I

Well, my first day of the Summer I semester started today. Both of my classes are awesome. My Psych Tests & Measurements class will be interesting and there are a couple of people from Dr. A's class last semester in it so I have some company. The professor is really sweet and cuts to the chase. I've heard great things about her classes so I'm content.

The professor of my Modern Political Thought class is awesome. He's a huge Obama fan. He asked the class if we knew who Mrs. Sotomayor was and no one could answer so I went ahead and repeated her resume, life story, and position (appellate judge). Am I the only person who listens to NPR?? Ha. He was impressed anyway. The class is going to be so awesome. All we are going to do is discuss political philosophy. I do that in my spare time! He also said he prefers to focus on the discussion aspect of the class and he will give us review sheets for the tests that will cover everything we need to know (in other words, no surprise questions). Sweetness. Tomorrow we are discussing Plato.

I also took advantage of SCU's fitness center finally. I knew if I didn't start today, I'd put it off forever. Dude, they have the most amazing treadmills ever. These fancy machines have built in A/C that you control, Personal TV screen with Cable (I watched Hardball with Chris Matthews while jogging), places to plug in your headphones, music channels, fitness tests, heart-rate monitors, and giant convience containers for water/phones/whatever. I'll go work out just to use these treadmills!

Anyway, it was a productive day. I now must go shower and read 60 pages of Strauss discussing Plato.

-Me

Insomnia

(Originally posted on 5/26/09 at 6:49 AM)

I am so sick of being an insomniac. Where did the time of sleeping for 10-14 hours a night on my vacations go?

Since school has been out, I've been lucky to fall asleep between 7 and 9am for a few hours.

The ambien doesn't work. The soft music, reading, tv background noise, nor complete silence/darkness works. I've tried it all. The glass(es) of wine in the tub, snuggling, not snuggling, moving to the couch...all failures. Bleh.

And it's not the kind of insomnia that could maybe allow me to be productive with the extra hours at night. It is more like desperate zombie-insomnia so I just lay there and be a desperate zombie trying not to think about how I'm not sleeping.

Other than that, everything is fine.

Dr. A asked me to be on his research team for a study he will be conducting. It is awesome. Dr. A is a cross between Dr. Drew Pinsky and Keith Olbermann. He's witty, liberal, atheist, brilliant, and charming (as far as I can tell). Not that any of that matters when it comes to people I will be working with/for/under but it all definitely raises my motivation to be the best research assistant ever. The experience won't look bad on my grad degree application either. ;)

Banana Mouse is thriving. He is no longer content to sleep on me. He just wants to tunnel through my clothes and try to explore the bed. He's a fast little bugger too. He's got a pimped out cage tho and watching him eat sunflower seeds is my new favorite tv show. Mission accomplished (except for that whole not staying put thing).

I have registered for 2 summer I classes and 2 summer II classes. Round 1 starts June 8 so I suppose I should actually do something productive with my time off instead of sitting around the house reading Al Franken books and watching House reruns but it's so damn tempting to do just that! So that is basically all I've been up to since school got out. Anyway, I suppose I'll go lay down and muse about not sleeping some more.

Rectal Exams and Ringtones

(Originally posted on 3/11/09 at 8:13 PM)

hey there

last week I had 2 of the most embarrassing moments of my life in the same day. Thought I'd share...

1st, I was bleeding...from the booty...so I went to the ER per DH's insisting. I was also in a lot of pain so probably good thing I went. Well, the doc I got was this huge Italian mafia-looking doctor with giant fingers. He had me "assume the position" and stuck one of those giant fingers entirely into my rectum...while the hottest nurse I've ever seen stood by and watched (DH tried to reassure me that "maybe she liked it" ha). anyway i was fine (nothing major, just stress-induced colon blockage ha).

2nd, While taking my PhysioPsych exam, my phone went off. I couldn't find it so the entire ringtone played. Twice. Not that big of a deal, right? happens all the time...

Well, my ringtone goes something like this (by Of Montreal):

Want you to be my pleasure puss

I wanna know what it's like to be inside you...

Thankfully Dr. A just laughed and pretended not to look up from his book but the entire class laughed. I now have flashbacks when my phone rings.

That's all. I'll post a pic of my blockage xray later.

- Me

Ps at least I got a 96 on the test!

All the updates...

(Originally posted on 2/27/09 at 3:14 PM)

Well, Let's see...

Taking 15 hours at SCU this spring: Psychology of Women (should be named Liberal Feminism ha), Physiological Psychology, Abnormal Psych, Logic & Critical Thinking (A Philosophy class that teaches people to think like I already do :p), and Applied Stats.

Classes are all going well. All A's so far. My abnormal psych professor is super-hot. It makes getting up so early (8am start time) worth it just so I can stare at her.

I stay in SCU-Town 2 nights a week with my friend, Mel. I have classes 4 days a week so the commute is just too much. Plus we're in a couple of the same classes so we get some major studying done.

I got fired from my job yesterday. This did not come as a surprise. I hated that job and I would have fired me too. Apparently they didn't like the fact that I did my homework during my shift (there was nothing else to do, trust me. they just wanted me to stand there doing nothing...fuck a bunch of that). Plus they heard me say, on one of the tapes (security cameras with audio?? PSSSSHHAWWW), that the manager's daughter/bookkeeper was dumber than a post. She is. I know this because I was once a store manager and I knew everything about my store, not just how to kinda do some stuff, sometimes. I didn't know they were eavesdropping. haha. Anyway, I'm glad I got fired because I really didn't want to work this week.

I need a part-time job. I can't do the full time thing anyway.

Things at home are good. I miss the kids (I haven't been able to spend ANY time with them since school started). DH and I have been able to get a couple hours here and there in though and we're great.

That's about it, folks.

GO-BAMA!

- DH

Graduation Ire

(Originally posted on 12/12/08 at 9:30 AM)

So,

Today I am setting a predecent for a "insert my maiden/parents' last name here" in getting a college degree. Although I am working towards Ph.D. ,and this is only 1 of 4 degrees in my future, it is still quite the accomplishment. I've never graduated from anything before. My parents home "schooled" me (handed my the curriculum and answer books so I could teach myself) and refused to even get my my senior year of highschool, which ended up not mattering anyway because they never kept track of my credits. I would have had to get my GED anyway.

Growing up, I was taught that college was a "worldy endeavor" and would be a waste of time "in the Kindom of Heaven". College, education, and science was looked down upon in my family. My parents never asked me what I wanted to do with my life. They just constantly pressured me to be a musician, but would have accepted housewife as equally "honorable". I wanted to be a doctor, my parents tried to force me into the christian music scene. I got a guitar instead of an education. I was told I was supposed to become an "obedient and submitting wife" and not an educated and independent woman.

But somehow, against the odds, I said "Fuck you, mom and dad. I'm going to college," and I moved out, got my GED, and got into college without anyone helping me figure out how this was done (they don't have guidance counselors in home school). And I did it, I am now a college graduate.

So as I walk the stage today, in my honors regalia, with my proud husband and stepson looking on from the audience, I will accept my degree with the knowledge that I fucking earned this moment. And no one can take that away from me, not even my absent parents, who are saving the gas money it would take to see their daughter graduate from college to get them to a "gig" (aka open-mic night) at a coffee house that they play at weekly.

Thanks, mom and dad. I owe none of this to you.

bragging

(Originally posted on 11/4/08 at 7:48 PM)

I just got 100 on my last Statistics test, which is amazing seeing how I skipped a bunch of classes before this last test. Everyone was all "Oh, well lookie here, she shows up for the test" on Thursday. I bet they won't make fun of me when I "accidentally" flash my test score. :p

I still haven't gotten a grade lower than a 92 on anything I've turned in this semester. All my class avgs are 96 or above. Not drinking during the semester really works. I even feel smarter this semester.

I applied for Graduation. And applied to SCU. Woot!

Cute Stepmom Moment!

(Originally posted on 10/14/08 at 5:13 PM)

I really don't have time to write a blog right now because I have a test, paper, and art project with 5 parts due tomorrow but...

I just had a really cute stepmom moment and I wanted to share.

In our house, my Phi Theta Kappa certificate and dean's list notification certificate are framed and hung on the wall (I worked hard, I want to show off my achievements!).

Well, my youngest stepson, #2 (11), is really proud of them. I didn't realize this until a couple weeks ago when I overheard him showing them off to his cousin and explaining how I always study and my grades are all A's. #2 and I have bonded over our shared ADHD diagnoses and I help him with tricks and shortcuts I have learned to help with schoolwork and tests.

Anyway, tonight, as I am working on my paper, #2 comes into the bedroom, proudly toting his latest report card with all A's & one B. He shows it to me and says, "Look at my report card. And I framed it!" He is grinning from ear to ear. I totally cuted out. I guess I don't really think of myself as one of the people that my stepsons look up to because of my limited time with them, but this moment showed me that #2 does look at me as someone he can relate to and emulate. So rewarding. :)

It's funny because when my sisters used to copy me when we were kids, I would get totally pissed. It is totally different when your kids (or stepkids) copy you. It shows that they think of you as someone they want to be like...at least in some ways.

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