Doctors and Dentists and Deadlines, Oh My!

So, I have a shit ton o' work to do but I'm taking a break to tell you that I love my doctor. My Primary Care Physician is a super-religious man who doesn't believe in evolution and always cracks at least 5 jokes referencing the age difference between me and hubbie (he's our family doc so he also loves to tease my stepkids by asking about their "new sister" when they go in with their dad...). He also blames everything that ails me on my vegetarianism (or being married to an "old guy"). Some of his jokes are tolerable because they give me a chance to come up with some snarky comeback, displaying my infallible wit (Ha!), and he stares at my boobs a lot (which is funnier than his jokes).

But I can overlook all of his misdiagnoses and pseudo-comedy for the fact that, although his patients typically describe his script writing as "stingy" (to say the least), he never holds out on me when it comes to the good meds. I don't know if it's because I'm so witty or so titty, but I always get the good shit without having to ask. Hell, maybe it's cause I don't ask for it. Whatever. All I know is I had an appointment today to get him to look at my face again (I've had a crazy rash since June, which he has misdiagnosed twice now, bastard) and I walked out of his office with antibiotics (for my impetigo, the latest diagnosis, and I believe the correct one), a hand full of Soma samples (and not like 4 but like 24), and a script for 60 Lortab. Granted, in addition to the Impetigo mess on my face (not the impetigo that has crazy pus-filled blisters, by the way, but the strep strain one, which still looks like shit though not as leprous as the staph one...but I digress), I also mentioned the immense pain caused by throwing my back out last week. It has gotten better than it was (think unrelenting sharp pain when you move and when you're completely still), and I mentioned that it isn't as bad this week, but, like I said, he throws the good shit at me. Maybe he feels sorry for me because he thinks it must suck to have caught "being old and decrepit" from my hubbie (which explains all aches and pains, apparently).

Anyway, just thought I'd brag about my awesome legal stash of drugs. I also went to the dentist to get a replacement crown (my permanent crown, done by a different DDS, recently shattered) and they pulled some strings (aka forged some documents, I think) to get it covered by my insurance (fucking enough with the preexisting condition clauses already). Saved me $800. Today was a good healthcare day, thanks to the health care providers and not the insurance fuckwads, of course.

Oh yeah, and shame on you, Maine. I cried when I heard about your vote to deny legal marriage rights to same-sex couples, even though this basic civil right had already been granted by your state legislators. And I never fucking cry. Just think, if they had let the states vote on slavery and racial equality laws, we'd still have slaves in the South... This is why equality legislation needs to be enacted at the federal level. There are too many small-minded, religious fucks who are stuck in their hateful ways to ever move past this unfair, yet still legal, discrimination present in our state law books.

And, kudos for trying, Washington State, but "separate but equal" is not equal. I mean, personally, if I had fallen for a lady, marriage wouldn't have been a big deal for me. Let the church keep their ancient rites. The institution of marriage is an archaic practice based on religious beliefs anyway. I only got married for the tax breaks (and the life insurance). To me, love doesn't need the constraints of ancient tradition to thrive (monogamy isn't natural, but that's an entirely different blog). Civil unions are alright with me and my hypothetical lady love. I would just want the same legal rights that the privileged heterosexuals get when they get hitched. But, if you are going to do this "separate but equal" crap and turn marriage into this holy grail that cannot be sullied by us dirty homos, then you have made it into what it is. Civil unions for everyone (gay or straight) and let the church perform their marriage ceremonies as a separate entity OR legal marriage for everyone. Love is love is love is love and no one can govern that, no matter how hard you try.

No Special Rights For Christians!

Something about the town I live in really pisses me off.

Sunday is my day of the week to run errands (and it used to be my day to work a double not too long ago). On Sundays, in my town and the next one over (where I used to work and now usually run my errands), I get stopped by traffic-directing law enforcement officers for 5-20 minutes at 3 different points on my commute. This made me late to work almost every Sunday, even if I added the expected time I'd be sitting in this unnecessary traffic. And it is definitely an inconvenience that usually incites road rage for me almost weekly now. The unavoidable road where this occurs is a 55 mph farm road with one lane going each way. The establishments who get this kind of special treatment? Churches.

My tax dollars are being spent to make church-going more convenient for the people attending. The traffic in front of the church is not dangerous, nor inconvenient, for those already on the road. It is only inconvenient for the church-goers to have to wait their god-damn turn to enter traffic from the church parking lot. How is this not infringing on my right to an expedient commute? So, just because I don't attend church, is my time less important?

In addition, this is not a volunteer post by the police department. I know a couple of the guys who get put on "traffic control" duty. There are always two paid officers at each location, directing traffic when church lets out, stopping those on the road to let all the church-goers out of their parking lot.

I'm sorry, but when does being a church-going Christian gain special privileges and protection paid for by the government? How can you bitch about being "persecuted" and "held down" by the same institution that literally stops traffic to give you the "right-of-way?" Don't even get me started on your protest of the "special rights and protections" that the "privileged" LGBT community is asking for. You know, like the right that everyone else has to get married and protection against hate crimes. Except the "special privileges" you decry are actually equal rights and protections that should cover all citizens, while blocking traffic so you can get your 9 1/2 screaming children to Chili's in time for lunch specials is most definitely a "special privilege" that no one (in their right mind anyway) would categorize to be an inalienable right.

I have an idea. Why don't you use some of your famous "Christian patience" and wait your eff-ing turn. Hey, maybe if you pray hard enough, God will open the roads up like he parted the Red Sea for Moses! Then my tax money can go to something actually beneficial to the community, like fixing the god-damn road you are so desparate to get onto and paying the police department to protect our citizens (all of them) from actual danger.

Ana Marie Cox...I love you...

So here is the video I promised from The Rachel Maddow Show last night featuring my new soul mate, Ana Marie Cox. She's actually wearing a Dr. Suess T-shirt under her suit jacket. *Sigh* I'm in love.

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My newest soul mate

I saw my soul mate on Rachel Maddow last night. She joked that the only news worthy thing about Senator Ensign's affair was the fact that a Republican actually got someone to sleep with him. I'll post the video clip later. I'm in love!