The end of an era...or year-long project...

Long time, blogger. Typically, I would do the catch-up-on-life post but no one reads this one (literally) and writing a recant of the past couple of months would keep me procrastinating for months to come. Besides, this is my 'secret' public blog, remember?

It's sitting in my inbox right now. The ever-so-daunting manuscript that has been haunting my desktop from a folder marked "Dr.-A's-Last-Name Research" for months. Dr. A and I worked on finishing it over the break and now his final edits are sitting in my Outlook inbox waiting for me to review and approve before sending it off to the publisher.

And I don't want to open it.

This project has been the source of almost a year's worth of my focus, procrastination, passion, frustration, excitement, and insomnia. I know I will be depressed when it is all said and done. It happens after every major accomplishment, even though I expect it. The slump, the deer in the headlights feeling, like I've forgotten something vital or can't remember if I put my name on a 16 page term paper... It always follows the initial celebration.

I think I might be addicted to stress.
Bah.

Plus, I will miss the extra time spent with my mentor and colleague though I'm sure he will be glad to finally get a break from my crass humor, drunk emails (not inappropriate, mind you. More like "dude, you should see zombieland. It rocks!"), and pretending I'm smart. Ah well, such is my first academic collaboration experience. I'm sure future colleagues will come and go and eventually I'll forget who I wrote "such and such" with or investigated "whatchamacallit" alongside.

But I'll never forget my first. ;)

At least I still have the conference to look forward to. I've got plenty of adrenaline left for the panic I will feel as I realize I'm the only undergrad in the room, let alone presenting a research paper. Thank gods for social facilitation and over-confidence in my abilities (all of them).

Oh, attachment, open you I must.

And so it goes...